Interest check for making new friends

Informācija Saieti
1

Using my English, since I use it alot more than Latvian in everyday life/phone life.

So, this may sound completely sad and a bit pathetic, but it’s hard to think about where I could post this elsewhere, where it would not be mocked to high-heaven. If anyone knows where I could also share this post, please tell.

I’m looking for friends. I’ve been used in the past a lot, feeling out of place in my friend groups if I ever managed to make into one. My longest lifetime bestie suddenly ghosted me hard-core, and even now I don’t really hate her, just disappointed and I’m so desperate, that if she ever reached out again, I would take her back. But since it hasn’t happened even once over the 3 years since she hasn’t even texted me (we never even had a fight), I don’t think that’s happening.

The feeling I’ve had about my place in all my friendships I’ve had was described perfectly with a quote from Kpop Demon Hunters (love that movie btw) - You’re too much, and not enough.

Having been used in my first couple of friendships, it’s hard for me to trust and show my true side - just passing me by on the street, I have a resting bitchface, but it’s a guard I put, when I think people are staring and judging me. I get so excited when I see people around with anime pins, merch, and plushies. I almost want to go up to them to strike a conversation, but I’m extremely shy and have a big fear of rejection.

So, I had an idea. If anyone who also is lonely, looking for friends or a friend group is interested, I would like to make a little meet up - just some introductions, chatting, sharing interests. If after this meeting you decide its not for you, no hard feelings, but if we click, we could talk about going to do an activity.

My idea of a fun time is having a night in - snacks, movies, manga, books, games. If we’re going outside, going to the shops and finding cute merch, maybe visit a nice cafe. I would really want to visit that new place with the Pixel floor I’ve seen on TikTok, could be a really fun group activity.

As for the people, I’m very accepting of interests, I’m pro-lgtb and I’m demisexual. The things I would not compromise in a friendship is drinking regularly, smoking/vaping and racism/sexism/homophobia. I’ve had a bad experience with someone on my family who is a drunk and a smoker, so I would not want to be around someone who does so regularly. I don’t drink at all myself, maybe at like a family dinner party a small shot of wine to be polite. My idea of fun is not getting drunk.

So I’ve made this post for anyone who is interested in this meetup. I’m thinking either this Saturday or the next. I’ve not really decided the place, and would appreciate any suggestions, but for now this post is a question - is there people interested and how many? Even if there is a single soul, I’d be happy to meet! If you’d like to know more about me, my only other post on this site is my introduction.

If I need to make this post in a different tag, please do tell me and I’ll do so.

4 Likes
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Just a freindly reminder, that you’re always welcome to join on of our regular meetups. I know it might feel overwhelming to try and become a part of already existing friend group, but I feel we’re fairly welcoming. I somehow managed to do it, and I have the social skills of Ikea table

it’s hella fun, but you need a lot of stamina, especially on some levels

1 Like
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One of the hardest hitting lines there. Ouch.

It’s a nice idea, but sounds like a overkill for the first meet at least.
We have tabletop game meets and also online game meets where you can simply float by, get the gist of who we are wihout any time or space constraint.

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Thinking about doing so maybe someday in the future, but this is I suppose like a friendly hand reaching out for people who are also scared to join a new established group, which is also a very big personal insecurity. Giving the aura of we are all lonely, searching and meeting someone new, say hi and get to know each other, like a sharing circle, getting everyone to stand out and have equal time.

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I’m thinking that activity for like a future meeting, the first one would be small, maybe a cafe or a walk to get to know everyone. My problem with online things is, I’m way more confident behind a screen, if this was irl, I would not say as much as I write…:grimacing::sweat_smile: Also, a good practice with socialising irl

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think about this way, your increased confidence will balance out those of us, who don’t even turn on their microphones. Also you can join whenever, you can leave whenever

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I would say like any phobias and yes socialising can be phobia only way to overcome is by doing it.

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We used to do something similar, but it was more discussion themed. If you wanted something to add to the conversation, you had to raise your hand, and nobody would speak over you. Maybe it’s time to bring something like that back… :thinking:

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Since I work as a kindergarten assistant, the format of the morning introduction kinda was a base of what I was thinking. We sit down, introduce ourselves, share some of our interests and if someone wants to add something to them or ask a bit more of a certain topic, they can raise their hand. I would really like to make a safe space, with no judgement, just give a try and see where it goes, over some tea and just a nice sit down for people who may feel awkward in a big crowd and who feel out of place like I do, when trying to join a group with people who have been friends for a while. A fresh start, so to say.

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Sounds reasonable

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Its literally free for all most of time people around 20-30 have established groups and topic(passion)they discuss, reason simple to smooth conversation. People in general are very unique, that are greatest strengths of people. Problem its leads to friction. Generally you need listening in conversations which by themselves takes huge impact on people analyzing. On kids may differ, kids are empty books.

12

definetly sounds interesting but have to see with time since i have full time job and other stuff so doing things outside that i have very limited space for other stuff

13

I’m down to hang. Especially if you have fresh meetup ideas.

14

im def up to meet up and hang out ;3
are you interested in any board games, perhaps? they are a very good ice breaker as well. ofc we can just meet up and introduce ourselfs (tho kinda reminds me of AA meetups, lol xD )
since you mentioned you are a kindergarden teacher/assistant, any interest in montessori methods?

15

Talking about our challenge of the week kinda sounds cool as well. Or whatever they do in AA meetings… :D